Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
