Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
