Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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