you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Do vagina's smell?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
