sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
