i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
