just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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