There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
