I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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