2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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