Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
