I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
