did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
