About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you win again, gameday.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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