apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
