K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Someone shattered a urinal.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
