and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
