that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
