i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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