I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
