Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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