I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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