can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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