hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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