Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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