In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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