Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This baby is an asshole
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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