He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
