Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
