dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
