you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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