I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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