I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
