we made out on top of his cat.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
