I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
