I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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