oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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