and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
