the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
