I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
