Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
well you can't waste a boner
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
