but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
