I can tuck mytits in my pants
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
