Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wish i was in the wii world.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
They have beer where we have blood.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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