so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
