I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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