Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
