i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
