dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
