I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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